Woo Hoo! I have run non-stop for 1 kilometer!!!

Yes that is right! I have done it! I'm so excited, to think I have done the impossible and the unimaginable - for me. I have run 1 km on my treadmill. It was hard but I was determined to keep going. The longest I have run was for 3 minutes. Towards the end I was making some pretty ugly panting noises. It must have sounded like I was dying. Boy it takes a long time. Haha. I did my 1 km in 7 minutes 40 seconds. Woo Hoo!!!  And no that is not me in the photo but it will be... one day!!!!!

And what is wrong with second?

I've started out this round with the high hopes and desires of smashing out a great result. I have imagined myself 10kgs lighter, I have visualized fitting into size 14 clothes (dared not to imagine size 12). I have put it in my goals, shouted it from the mountains and blogged about it. I have even booked a flight to Perth for the finale party with real dreams of receiving an award on stage by non-other than Michell Bridges herself.

As the weeks have ticked by, slipped by, by God sped by - it is becoming clearer and clearer that those hopes, dreams and desires were delusional. My head is screaming, you are mediocre, average, below average, not special, not a winner, A FAILURE. God help me I gave away my size 18 clothes.

What is going wrong? I have stuck to the nutrition program, most of the time. I have gone to the gym, most days. It has been a sneakily unnoticed unravelling, however not to have noticed was delusional in itself.  I have been fighting the flu (for weeks), developed a renewed relationship with asthma, plus to be brutally honest I am fighting decades of me being me. 

So with me being me, there is a need to embrace the dance of one step forward and two steps back, until I notice it; and then turn it around to two steps forward and one step back. And as Morrie Schwartz said, 'What is wrong with second?' I agree. What is wrong with second, as long as I keep dancing. 

My beautiful daughter Lara is a blessed testament to this type of thinking. Lara who is intellectually impaired is up for anything. No matter what competition she entered, be it swimming, running or whatever, she would fly past the finish line with arms joyously waving in the air shouting, "I HAVE WON!!! I AM THE WINNER!!!", to the loud cheers of family, friends and other kind observers with our knowing smiles at her enthusiasm in coming dead last (every time).

So I want to (in my imagination) go up on that stage at the finale in Perth, in September, with my arms joyously raised and shouting, "I HAVE WON!!! I AM A WINNER!!!", because I am following the nutrition plan, most of the time and going to the gym, most days. This gives me much to play with, so much room to improve and grow. Forever growing longer legs for bigger strides.

Run In A Relaxed Manner

Isn't it funny that we are always getting to somewhere, always doing something; needing to finish this or start that and usually in a rushed and harried manner. Our bodies and minds are programed from birth to achieve and  seek success in this modern society. We are tense, tight and anything but relaxed. Even though I'm a practitioner of mindfulness I still struggle with transferring the mindfulness during sitting practice through to 'being' practice (everyday life). 

This occurred to me today while I trudged along on the treadmill trying to turn myself from a non-runner to a runner. Thud, thud, thud; pant, pant, pant. Teeth gritted, determined with the wise words of, "There is only one way through this... and it's the hard way'. Trying to push from 1 minute running before I drop back to a walk, to 1 minute 30 seconds, to 2 minutes. What a joke when people run for hours and kilometers. So with curiosity I started to play with just relaxing. I began my run focusing on my feet as they hit the treadmill - heel strike, ball of foot and off the toe; moved up to both legs feeling an easy stride, looking for tension and relaxing it; moved up to my body, shoulders, neck, arms, checking in on my lungs - all good. Getting out of my head and 'being' in my body.

My head wants to check the time and I refuse to look as I know that will burst the bubble, as head stuff always does. Bother, like Lot's wife I couldn't resist, I looked - 3 minutes my record, yippee ... and then I stopped. Now I will have to work on that head game. Ha ha.

Double pic-ing (reusing picture) - for my benefit - I'm sure not yours.  

Learn to Run- Bahaha That's a knee slapper!

On Your Mark,    Get Set,    GO!

What?   Who me?    Now?

Really?   You're not kidding?   You want me to run?

Look out that stop watch is ticking.

OK, OK,   I'm going ....

......And going....

........................And going!

How many ..... laps ..... for 1 Km???

Ok, I'm walking it in - this time.

I'm Having a Mental Event

I am prowling the kitchen agitated. Home late from work, school event from 6 - 7pm, quick groceries shop in a empty shopping center (as everyone else is at home), then home. It is late, dinner preparation time is long over, so toasted chicken and salad sandwich was decided as a sensible healthy quick fix for all. Now I'm stressed and wanting some soothing. I'M STILL HUNGRY. My son has a chocolate bar in the fridge which is for school - can't eat that; there is flat sparkling wine in the fridge from visitors on the weekend - I put that down the sink; spotted the raisin bread crusts left over from breakfast on the bench - my hand reaches out for it and then I remembered what this is - I'm having a mental event. This hunger is above the neck so I've come here to type to get out of that kitchen. Thanks for reading, the moment has passed. I can now go back to the kitchen to clean up and stay 'clean'. :)

Gooving with Benny Goodman to Sing, Sing, Sing

 

Grooving in Grandpa's garage to old vinyls from Hooked on Swing, Benny Goodman (you must look him up on iTunes), Caramba (Roberti Delgado)  to Johnny Cash. My younger sister Lauren, Mum, Dad and I were getting our 30 minutes a day. Actually Lauren and I danced, exercised and gym machined for 1hour and 36 minutes, and donated 800 plus calories to the universe each. That is my best effort to date. It always amazes me how effortlessly this happens with music, great company and 'no-bodies looking' dancing.

Lauren is getting into shape to walk Cradle Mountain in Tasmania this Christmas and has done a marvelous job so far. Dropped at least 2 dress sizes, she looks marvelous. So the baby of the family becomes the leader of the way and mentor to her older sisters. She is such great value. As you can see Mum has always been a groover from old and as for my Dad, he is a National level masters kayaker. Wow, I do come from good stock so I'd better get over this hump and get cracking. Shake that tail feather, rattle that roll,

"...And all the Jazz"

JFDI - Just Fricken Do it

 

Yes that is me just about to head off to the gym at 5.20am - again. It was dark and freezing - JFDI, JFDI, JFDI, was racing through my head. 'Robot mode' was another manta I was reciting that morning. However once in the gym it was warm, well lit and filled with other fellow insomniac Eskimos. It was actually very enjoyable as I had the Queens Diamond Jubilee concert on the large flat-screen to exercise to. I was grooving with Cliff Richards who was doing some really inappropriate hip gyrations for a chap of his age and Grace Jones who looked just plain silly singing and doing her own gyrating with a hool-a-hoop. But when you think about it they were out there moving and grooving and living life just as I am trying to do, though I usually save that kind of moving to the privacy of my kitchen dance sessions.