"Now I shout it from the highest hill. Even told the golden daffodils!!!"

My pledge to myself and to all who care to read!

I am committed to do the work it takes to get me there. I am committed to losing 10kgs this round of the 12 week body transformation program. I am committed to losing 20kgs this year. I am committed to mindfulness (MBSR) to improve my focus, my personal inner strength and integrity.   Michelle (Bridges)... I accept you outstretch hand and I shake it with enthusiastic determination. I will trust in the process of your 12WBT.

I accept the outstretch hands of all my supporters, my cheer squad, my family friends, my dear girlfriends,  my sisters, my extended family here and far away, my mother, my father,  ... my children. I shake your hands, each and everyone of you. In return for the support and love you all give me and the faith you have in me, I commit to this to you ... I will be growing longer legs for bigger strides NOW!!!

This pledge is printed, embellished, embossed, coloured and plaster all over my fridge. 

Goodness, I'm a bit nervous now, (like very) about posting this blog. Writing this was easy, but now to push post is making me feel ill. However shouting it from the highest hill I must and from the highest hill I will. 

... I have just had a most wonderful remembrance of Nana Holm, ... my goodness I have goose bumps, as her presence is so strong. She is reminding me to say, "three quick Hail Mary's followed by three, Our Lady of the Way pray for me."  This was how we always started any car journey with Nana.  I use to do that too with my own children.... I wonder when I stopped. Thank you Nana, I miss you. Big tears. Lots of them lately, but tears and pain embedded in adipose tissue will give an interesting topic to blog about another day. Ha ha.

Sooo...... With 3 quick Hail Mary's and 3 Our Lady of the Way pray for me, the journey has begun, it can't go wrong. How can it with so much support behind me, including myself (the strong, determined, committed, intelligent, caring woman that I am).

Go on push post, ... go on ... GO ON WILL YOU!!!!!

Feel the wobble, embrace the wobble 'cause soon it will only be a memory!

"Here I stand on the precipice of a great journey. I have stood here many time before over the past 8 years and have not reached my goal. Will I succeed? I don't know. Though saying that is not being defeatist, any more than screaming I shall succeed, leads one to prevail. What I do know is that I wish to succeed, I desire to succeed, I want to succeed ... I need to ...

    Can many small steps, no matter how dogged, trump past inept good intentions? ? ? Yes that is it. That will be my motto, 'Many small steps', for now, and maybe in time I shall grow longer legs for bigger strides."

Excerpt from my journal 27th December 2011, after my caring daughter pulled me aside to voice her concerns about my weight, my health. I could not envision at that time the possibility of anything more than small steps. Only 1 month has past and I can feel the possibility. Truly taste it. Feel it in my waters (as my Nana would have said). Gone is the motto, 'many small steps' - dogged and all, as I am growing longer legs for bigger strides NOW!! 

I joined Michelle Bridges 12WBT, joined forums, getting involved and getting ready. The 2012 / 1 season hasn't even started yet. I haven't seen a single eating plan, nor put foot to pavement but have lost 3 kg already.  We are in preseason and wow we are getting it together.

At first a bit impatient to get thing going but I now realize how important this preparation time is, as I am getting real, gearing up and taking control. I had an awesome 90 minute dance session in the kitchen today to high energy music. I danced and danced, I sweated, I laughed and cried. Sounds funny but it was truly the beginning of my 12wbt journey. 

My body was doing it's thing, my soul was reconnecting to the dancer I once was. I was so joyfully in the moment and I let it rip!! I shook, I shimmied, I pranced and twirled. I heffalumped grand jetes through the lounge room.  The music was blaring and I thought ... feel the wobble, embrace the wobble for it will soon be only a memory. And I did, I trembled, I quaked, I moved in any way I could to shake that stuff, for I was giving it notice ... "Thank you for being there to protect me during those long dark year but now it's adios amigo".

This is all about the weight.

I'm a single mum of three - two still at home. One is in high school and the other is a young adult with disabilities.  My middle child is in Brisbane at uni. I live in Queensland, work full time and study part-time at uni. My weight has been a sneakingly increasing issue since my divorce 8 years ago. Now I'm 50 this temporary gain has grown to 20kg and looking permanent.

 It was one of my children who, with serious concern, said at Christmas that she loves me just as I am, always has and always will, but now she is worried about my health. That was my wake up call to stop and have a good look at myself. As a health professional I know only too well how serious the health risks are and how they skyrocket with each passing year. She is right - it is time.    

Me on the right 2004

January 2012

I have always loved practicing mindfulness meditation and dancing, both of which I have neglected for some time now. So I'm kicking off my 12wbt 1/2012 with a 'Glee dancing in my kitchen' party for one, with hair down, twirling, arms waving, feet tapping - bring it on!